Life Coaching, Motivation

Mind Over Matter

You may be shocked if I said that you create your own reality or you may be not. But one thing is for sure – the power of our thinking is acknowledged more and more as a major influence to our quality of life.

The most familiar example would be stress. When we are stressed we think and act in a certain way, but also we see the world in a certain way. We become more aware of negative things around us, we start to worry about them and somehow “miraculously” they become a reality.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be in control of this reality? To change what we don’t like and remove the stress? What if we could?

The well-established fields of psychology and neuroscience along with new comers such as NLP and quantum physics all point that there is proof that our thoughts create the reality we experience.

Of course, each field has its own way of explaining this. From the molecular level of biology to the energy vibrations level of physics there is proof that our thoughts can materialise physically.

But perhaps a more simple and easy way to understand this is through the lens of psychology & NLP. Through this lens you can view how we create our reality in four steps:


Step 1 – Experience through our senses

We experience the world through our senses and send some of this data to our brain. Our senses are actually very limited – for example we can’t see ultraviolet light. Therefore we don’t really see everything the world has to offer (i.e. not the absolute reality, but a perceived reality).

Step 2 – Meaning making through conditioning

Out of the 400 billion bits of sensory data received every second (yes, every second!) our brains can only process 2,000 bits of data. I guess this deletion is for our own good – imagine feeling the clothes on your skin all of the time! That would drive us insane!

Apart from deleting information, we are also very good at distorting whatever information is left by categorising it into groups of data and then generalising these groups on to future experiences. For example, if we categorise someone we’ve met as “fun”, then we will assume that they are generally fun all of the time and we will act accordingly.

How we distort and generalise information depends on our conditioning – that is our upbringing, memories and personality; our beliefs, values and expectations.

Step 3 – Emotional state through thinking

After deleting, distorting and generalising we are left with thoughts and these thoughts affect the state we are in. Our emotional state affects us physically and mentally. 

For example, when we are angry we can notice that as we think more and more negative thoughts about the person, object or situation that caused the anger our heart rate and breathing speeds up.

“Emotion is the fuel for action.”


Step 4 – Life outcomes through behaviour

Based on what we think and feel we act and our behaviour produces results (both good and bad). It is these results that affect our reality or, if you prefer, our current experience of life. 

Now we have come full circle and can see the logic in how we create our own reality. Of course, the information here is overly simplified and there are many books from different fields that describe the process in a lot more detail.

But if there is one sentence you should take away this is the one:

Our conditioning affects our emotional state which in turn influences our behaviour and the outcome of that behaviour.

Life Coaching, Motivation

What is NLP?

You probably already know about my certification and you’re wondering what exactly is NLP?

Well it is good to wonder… because when we ask questions we learn new things. And when we learn new things we grow, which is a good thing, is it not?

Definition of NLP

Back to NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming. What is it?

Well there are various definitions, many going along the lines of “a set of tools or techniques to structure our internal systems and deal with obstacles in order to achieve our desired goals”. 

My personal favourite is the one from Chris Howard, NLP Master trainer & author:

“An owner’s manual for the mind”

It can be described as a set of skills and techniques which would help a person overcome a problem. These techniques work with the mind and cause a change in behaviour.

Basically, NLP uses certain communication strategies to help one achieve greater success in all areas of life.


Philosophy of NLP

When it comes to Neuro Linguistic Programming, the main focus is on the process of our thinking rather than the content of our thoughts. 

Yes, the focus is on the “how”. How we perceive the world. How our conditioned mind affects this perception and our thoughts. How our thoughts affect our behaviour and, in turn, the lives we live. 

The “why” is considered as irrelevant. Ruminating on why we ended up with things or situations that we didn’t want in life isn’t going to help us to achieve what we do want.

It is much better to focus your thoughts on what you want to achieve or something that helps you solve the current problem.To sum it up, a driving principle of NLP is using positive language in our thoughts and directing these thoughts towards our goals. For example, instead of saying “I don’t want to get fat”, say “I want to be fit and healthy.”

Simply, focus on what you want and not what you don’t want. 

Life Coaching, Motivation

Life is Like a Cake – the Result Depends on You

You know sometimes you sign up for things with certain expectations but you end up with unexpected results? Yeah, happens right?

Well, last month I attended a life coaching and neurolinguistic programming course and boy was it intense!
We learned about the power of the mind, how we perceive reality, the importance of how we use language both in our thinking and in conversing with others and so much more!

I’ve always had an interest in the science of the human mind. Why do we do what we do? A question that always popped in my mind when observing others.

There are many avenues to study human behavior, but it all starts with our minds! So, learning ‘the language of the mind’ as I like to call it, seemed like a valuable investment.

Yet, as you know, knowledge is power and that can sometimes be scary. Yes, with such knowldedge comes the responsibility for change. Here’s a metaphor to help get my point across:

“Many people have described life as being like a cake. Many ingredients can go into a cake, but the finished cake is down to what we do with those ingredients. We all have different life situations, but we can choose what we do with those ingredients. Some people have many fantastic ingredients, but the cake is a flop. Others have few ingredients, or less desirable ingredients, but are great cooks and make wonderful cakes.”

When we look at our lives and the results we got so far, do we see ourselves as the cause – “I made it happen” – or did life just happen to us? Are we powerless? Do we not have the choice to cause results? 

The philosophy of NLP is based precisely around that. Our conditioned mind drives our behavior which in turn produces certain results in our lives. Therefore every conscious and unconscious decision has affected our lives in some way.

Then, it seems logical to focus our thoughts and decisions towards the things that we want no?

We are powerful, we are the cause!
P.S.

If you would like to learn more about NLP and Life coaching, please feel free to send me your questions on inspiredbymiranda@gmail.com